Hey 25 year old Me,
You keep telling yourself you've changed so much over your short 20 years, but more so just in the past 3. I wonder what you're like in 5?
Who are your friends now? Do you still hang out with your "second family"? Your roommates from college? Or an entirely different crew I have yet to meet?
How is your family? I hope you still call your mom all the time, you know she loves talking to you. You guys are so similar, its scary. I'm sure Blair is growing into a beautiful young lady, of mind, body, and spirit. I hope she continued her dream of animal studies or found something just as engaging for her. She is so fragile right now, no matter how much she denies it, and I can't wait to see her grow even stronger because of what she's faced. The boy that took his life also took a lot of her happiness with her, but I know that she will find someone who will make her forget him for a while. I only have the highest of hopes for David as well. He made you so angry and distraught, but you could never stop loving him. His OVIs affected you more than you'll ever admit. I only see his life going up from this point and I have the greatest confidence that it will. Watching your father grow softer and grayer as the years go by has been both depressing and gratifying to watch. Is he still the superhero he is to you now?
What about your love life? Don't tell me you're still with that Cameron boy..... but are you? That would actually be pretty cool. He just told me he loved me last week. Its easy to say I'm head over heels. If not though, are you dating anyone else? Is dating as hard as the movies make it seem? Or maybe you're engaged? Married?! That would be insane, but definitely not unlike how you always dreamed it. No matter what though, I hope you're happy!
If you tell me you have a kid, I'm gonna freak out. You don't even know if you like kids right now and you're pretty sure babies can smell your fear. I mean, you're confident on the outside about it, but deep down, their fragility makes you so nervous.
What is your job like? Those last two years of nursing school didn't get any easier did they? Did you pass boards? Are you working in a hospital with baby-mamas like you thought you would or did you choose something entirely different?
Where do you live? Somehow I picture you in a 2 bedroom apartment in a bustling city or edge of a suburb, not to far away from your job, but just far away to enjoy your life outside of it.
Are you still religious? You technically identify catholic, but I see that you're growing away a little bit. Did you look into any other ones? Buddhism has been peaking your interest lately, but you don't have enough time to do that right now.
How are you mentally? These past couple years have been really hard for me, I feel so drained by struggling at OSU, to transferring, to dealing with your siblings' crap, your mother's emotional pendulum, your dad's strict painful logic, the near passing of one of your friends, and your own suicidal thoughts. Its so easy to say how happy I am right now with 3 great friends I'm moving into an apartment with in July, a wonderful boyfriend who treats me like a million bucks, and great potential looming ahead. But its also easy to say that I'm struggling: with school, with body image, with family problems, and with fear for what lies ahead. I know that you can do it though, these demons are small compared to how many people love and care about you. Always remember that.
Best of luck,
Me, age 20
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